Funny Profile Descriptions for Dating Sites Hilarious Online Dating Profiles
Are you trying to keep your online dating profile lighthearted, upbeat and have people LOLing in real life when they read them? Nosotros can help you with that. Have a look at some of these funny online dating profile examples below to get started.
Instance #one: Funny
About me: My name is Jenna and I'grand 24 years old. I never pictured myself as the online dating blazon, but at this point in my life I thought ' Spiral it, why the f#$% not!" I'm a very busy person then I don't have a lot of time to become out and run across people. And so here I am.
I work as a Vets assistant so I must warn yous I practice accept to put thermometers upward butts sometimes. But that's a plus for you, because if you ever become sick I can take your temp very easily! 😉
I am not a huge fan of cooking, but I sure as hell do love to swallow! Eating is one of my favorite hobbies of all time. I can exercise information technology all twenty-four hour period, every day. So I'm looking for someone who tin can feed me and consume with me constantly. Withal, I must say I make some pretty succulent toaster strudels upon request. I'm too really nifty at boiling h2o.
I take 2 dogs, they are similar my children! I honey them with all of my middle. Y'all must love dogs to be with me. Don't bother messaging me if you don't corroborate. I volition not, under any circumstance, get rid of them. Aye, I am crazy dog lady and I choose dogs over men any twenty-four hour period.
My interests: Kicking ass and taking names. Hiking, just only the short kind. Reading magazines while my boo cooks for me. I'll clean up after. I'yard a great vocaliser, just my sister always tells me I sound the best when no one else is around.
My dislikes: People who chew too loudly. Men who don't cook. People who smell bad.
Example #2: Honest
About Me: I'm 36. I take been a runaway bride twice now. I'g only not cut out for this 'until death do us role thing'. How about we do 'until nosotros both go on each others nerves, stop sleeping together and are plotting our escapes.' That may sound bad, but how many people do you know that are happily married? I don't know very many that are happily married. I am definitely a laic in being true-blue to one another and I love the thought of sharing a abode. Equally long as you lot're not bossy or rude, nosotros will become along but fine. But don't ask me to marry you. Okay? Okay.
We can live our lives happily without that stressful commitment. I'm definitely not a commitment phobe. I only don't believe in a silly piece of newspaper. So if you think yous are a perfect lucifer for me go ahead and ship me a message. I'm even so single and ready to mingle.
Example #three: Hilarious
About Me: 32 and still alone. I'm a tiny lady in a big metropolis. I love reality t.five, not going on walks and a donut that is then good it is almost spiritual. I have a Reese Witherspoon personality, Nicki Minaj body and the eyes of Frank Sinatra. Looking for a Channing Tatum to my whoever the daughter from Step Up one was. Swipe right if you lot similar a high powered firecracker of a woman who just recently learned how to use a Tivo. Swipe right also if you can teach me how to better utilise my Tivo.
Instance #four: Sarcastic
About Me: *Please read with a tinge of sarcasm, cheers*
I'yard Josh. I am that intelligent, caring, kind guy that your parents always told you lot to become for. You lot friends will admittedly adore me and your ex-boyfriends will moderately prove distaste for me. I'thou like Adam Levine, simply without all the tattoos, the womanizing and the millions of bucks. Ok, actually no, I'yard more like the Dalai Lama, with Obama swag and a Morgan Freeman persona. I beloved spending times at Bat Mitzvahs and Quinceaneras on the weekends. Yup, I'yard very culturally diverse similar that. I love writing, reading, cooking, pianos, exploring the wilderness, jumping jacks and eating cereal. I've been to Budapest, Paris, Japan, South Korea, Africa and Florida (basically a strange state).
Transport me a message if y'all are interested in doing whatsoever of the stuff I listed above.
Instance #5: Nerdy Funny
I'thou just a girl with a masters degree that is virtually useless. I am definitely sometime fashioned virtually dating, but by no means a prude. Don't get me wrong. I'm a gymnast then I curve similar moisture spaghetti in the sack. I share my apartment with my cat, Joker, who I share all of my secrets with. Then be careful of what you tell me. Joker knows all. There's zilch hotter than a guy who loves spending fourth dimension on crosswords. Get it… down? I likewise enjoy puns very much.
My favorite picture is Homeward Bound, but I don't usually admit it.
My favorite things to do consist of crosswords, pun and games (wink!) and traveling.
I'm looking for a down to earth guy who loves to stay in and relax with a good cup of joe.
Case #6: Uptight With Humor
About Me: Jerry, 29, dislikes animals.
I am definitely not very downwardly to world. If yous ignore me I might show upwards at your house unexpectedly to check in. I have a great fear of heights, and so don't worry about my climbing up whatever fire escapes. I dear tea, coffee and anything else with caffeine in it. It's the only thing that keeps me going throughout the day. I accept a consistent urge to practice everything properly all of the fourth dimension. I don't have time for mistakes. And then if you swipe right, don't make me regret it.
Example #seven: Jokingly Funny
Amanda J.
Virtually Me: I am the biggest hermit that you volition always meet in your life. I live alone in an abandoned building. All of my walls are painted black with markings on them. I like to chant by myself belatedly at dark in the candlelight. Sometimes I do this whilst rocking back and along. I love making people miserable. It'due south my favorite affair to exercise.
Example #8: Down To Earth and Real
About Me: I'grand like shooting fish in a barrel going, a niggling bit lazy, simply very competitive. I'm a tiny bit sensitive but I get over anything pretty quickly. I am so skilful at cooking that I should be on Masterchef. Okay, maybe not that good, but pretty damn shut. I make a killer grilled cheese. I similar riding my bike more than I similar driving my motorcar. I take time when I practice things, and so if you similar to rush don't carp matching upward with me. I believe in having a free spirit and keeping things simple.
I'm definitely a 'accept no shit from anyone' blazon of person. I exercise things by my own book and in my own time.
What I'm Looking For: Someone who isn't crazy. That is the number one affair. A kind, caring soul who can be open minded about the things they do in life. Must like to read. I like people who have goals in life. So if you tin't plan for the side by side v years you know where the 'side by side push button' is.
Example #9: Quaint
Me: You tin find me in my office getting paid to play on my telephone most days. When I am non at work I'm at home trying different hobbies. Which I usually neglect at, but hey at least I try.
My favorite meal of the 24-hour interval is breakfast. I mean, who doesn't honey breakfast? Evil people, that's who. I'm a meat eater to the death. You'll take to pry a steak from my common cold, dead hands.
I don't heed watching cartoons, but I can't stand documentaries. So don't try to educate me that style.
On our first date I'll accept you lot to Paris to eat escargot and drink wine on the Eiffel belfry. Just kidding, we'll probably go meet a movie or visit the bar downtown. Feel free to bulletin me if you lot find anything in common with me. And if y'all don't mind never going to Paris. I'1000 not very rich, sorry.
Instance #10: Sincere, All the same Funny
Most Me: Jesse, 25.
I know how to utilize their, they're and there properly. I'1000 cooler than the other side of the pillow. Or at to the lowest degree that is what my mom tends to tell me. I'thou quirky, competitive and tranquillity nearly of the fourth dimension. I like to push myself to the max. I also like to push button others (in a not-violent-pushes-to-the-ground-blazon-of-way). I'm e'er looking to explore new places. I also back up local community things.
Dealbreakers for me: I don't want to date someone who already has kids. Sorry, just I desire my own kids, non someone else's. I'chiliad 99.99% sure well-nigh this one.
I don't like smokers. So either be trying to quit or don't smoke at all. Ya'll smell nasty.
Example #eleven: Short and Simple
Yoga enthusiast. Financial manager. I love kids, animals and anything with a pulse. Except snakes. F##$ snakes. No, actually, don't ever even mention snakes.
I like chocolate more vanilla. This applies to flavors and men. Merely I savor tasting both, if yous know what I hateful.
What am I searching for? A man who can concur his own, but doesn't ever effort to tell me what to exercise. Unless, of form, it'south in the bedroom. That's a whole different story. Must take a job. I'm tired of dating bums. Sorrynotsorry.
Hit 'message' if yous think we'd vibe.
Instance #12: List Like
Hey there, I'm James! I would love for you to get to know me a little improve earlier deciding if nosotros are a match or not. So let me tell y'all a little bit about me.
- My favorite thing to wear is my softest ready of pajamas.
- I absolutely hate onions. Don't even bring those nasty things about me. Ever.
- Babies are alright, but I don't desire whatsoever but yet. They puke too much.
- My favorite band is Linkin Park. R.I.P Chester.
- I grew upward in a small town, but I definitely don't take minor boondocks ethics.
- My favorite place that I take visited was somewhere upward in the mountains.
- The rain is my friend and the sun is the devil.
- I accept a Netflix addiction to the max.
- I don't like video games. They are a waste of time.
- The perfect girl for me volition beloved travelling.
- I can't imagine myself with someone who has no humour.
- I Beloved Love Honey comic books!
- I collect coins, just I don't ordinarily prove that until the third appointment.
Case #13: Sweetness Equally Pie
Hi my name is Arlo. I'm definitely here to sweep the correct daughter off of her feet if I am given the adventure. Online dating isn't normally my thing, merely I lost a bet so here I am. I'm certain you are dying to get to know me ameliorate, and then here are a few vital details almost me:
My biggest passion in life is directing. I should mention I'm a movie manager. Non for anything major. Although one tin hope, right? I also volunteer at my local pet shelter on the weekends. I just beloved furbabies.
My favorite food would have to be tacos. I make some bomb, authentic tacos. So all you have to do is inquire and BAM! There'll exist tacos whatsoever solar day the of the week.
I love to spoil my appointment. I believe everyone deserves to be spoiled every now and again.
What I tin't live without:
- Pets.
- Music. Especially stone music.
- My guitar, yeah I play the guitar.
- My Xbox Ane. I like video games.
- Banans. They are literally my favorite thing to eat besides tacos.
Random Facts About Me:
- I never learned how to swim.
- My favorite fast food restaurant is Arbys.
- I hate trucks.
Source: https://www.everydayknow.com/funny-online-dating-profile-examples/